BABY FEVER!!!

Don't get your wings in a tizzy.....This is NOT a post about The Flying Bachelorette wants to get knocked up anytime soon. I love babies. I want a few of them of my own eventually (maybe with Mr. Ultimate) but for now I am perfectly content having my biggest child related responsibility being to brief lap-children's parents at work. That being said....I've taken care of enough children in the last 15 years (yes since I was 12) and observed enough flyer mistakes to know that one day I'll make an awesome traveling parent & my unconceived children will be 1st Class! (or terrors- who knows.)

Last week I worked a flight to STL (St. Louis) with only 54 adults....4 of them with infants. Who cried. For 2 hours. Straight. No we don't have earplugs. Sorry.


Baby #1: 4 mos old precious little blue eyed girl. Traveling with Father just finished Army Boot Camp (Thank You for your service!), mother & grandmother. Crying because she was hungry. Mother wasn't producing any milk & was unable to breastfeed. They got stuck the night before because of weather delays and cancelations and baby was over it.  Grandma tried her best. Bravo! 
What they did right: Grandma brought baby to back of plane & tried to soothe her in an empty row as far away from passengers as possible. 
What they did wrong: failed to pack extra formula just in case! Always have enough for an extra day.


Baby #2: Another little baby girl. About 6 months. Mostly happy. Just a little irritable- probably because the other babies were so cranky and disturbing her peaceful travels.
What Mom did right: stayed relaxed and entertained her child
What Mom did wrong: nothing....her baby was just a little fussy


Baby #3: Toddler Boy. Shockingly under the age of 2. So we'll say 23 mos with a young mother (lets say 21yrs old) Child was screaming for attention. You know the scream- it wasn't pain, hunger, diaper change. It was a child who needed attention.
What Mom did right: Asked for a very small bit of apple juice so child wouldn't spill the juice. (does that count? when your child has been screaming for the last 30 minutes straight?)
What Mom did wrong: failed to bring toys, books etc to properly give child attention. Did not attempt to quiet child at all. Could have taken child to the back of the airplane.


Baby #4: 12-16mo old girl. Mother was traveling with Baby #3 & mom. Also quite young- possibly younger. Baby was screaming because she was teething. Enough said.
What mom did right: Attempted to entertain child with magazine & safety card
What mom did wrong: Failed to bring toys for child. Baby could have benefited from a toy that provides relief for her gums too.

Always Pack Earplugs!

My friends...Welcome to "Flyers Hell." 
So now that you have met the babies.....let me describe to you the sound. Imagine a neighborhood where a few families have dogs. One barks. Another barks & pretty soon the whole neighborhood is full of barking dogs. Now imagine these dogs are babies on an airplane. Yes.
To make it worse a passenger asked during service to "Make those babies stop being so noisy" and spoke to the first officer (who he kept calling captain....) to complain about our lack of customer service skills & how we did not make the babies stop crying.  Our FO was a Flight Attendant in her previous life so she was perfect to take this on. She told him: If we could make babies cry, we would. We don't like it either. I'm sorry for you that babies cry. Is there anything you think we could have done to help calm crying babies?" He responded with- kick them off the plane. Yes at 37k feet. sure.


So what could we have done?  I deployed all the tricks in my book. Funny faces (75% success rate- the other 25% results in more screaming) among a few other tricks you can try:

-Ask the flight attendant for 6 plastic cups. Stack them like a pyramid. Make towers. Count them forwards & backwards. Stack them inside each other upside down & rightside up. Endless amounts of fun.....for 10-15 minutes. Put them on you head like a hat, cover your ears & take turns with the child. Extends the fun for about 5 minutes.
-Turn the Air Sickness bags into puppets: You remember making brown lunch bag puppets- same thing. Get a pen (or lipstick) out and draw a face on it. and there you have it.


Finally- bring things to entertain your child.....and check out the Inflight Team where they have TONS of child & baby traveling tips!


P.S.- I like to call these flights.....Birth Control Flights.