- Be Realistic: Realize that you may meet the love of your life- but you also might meet a lot of people who don't quite measure up. But hey- isn't that true of traditional dating?
- Be Open-Minded: How do you know unless you try? Don't always judge the photos as who they are either. I have a co-worker who does/did e-Harmony for awhile & I'd listen to him constantly find something wrong with the girls that were messaging him. "She has big teeth/ her eyes are too close together/she looks fat." These were all gorgeous women, who he didn't bother to give a chance to meet because he constantly tried to find something wrong. So if you are doing the same thing this guy was doing- You're not ready to meet someone. Physical Attraction is important but you should be looking for the whole package- if he/she has everything you are looking for- give it a chance because he/she might look amazing in person.
- Screen your suitors! This is especially true on Plenty Of Fish where membership is free. Some may disagree with me about this, but utilizing the "Set Min Characters for initial contact messages" feature helps in weeding out the people who are only seeking a hook-up. I set mine to 200, which is about the same as 3 sentences. My feeling is that any man who can't type 3-5 sentences without whining isn't quite worth my time anyways.
- Be Honest about what you are looking for & don't settle! If you are looking for someone who doesn't have kids, or someone with an education- then don't pursue those people. You can politely respond to their interest by saying "Thank you for your message. I appreciate the compliments, but I don't think we're a match. Best of luck to you in your search for love!" That way you are honest with them as well.
- Ask unexpected fun questions: Go beyond "what do you do for a living, where did you grow up etc" Try to pick their brain with questions that will reveal a bit more about their character, hobbies, passions, and morals. Log into your old myspace and find those stupid surveys and use those questions if you need to. My guy asked me "Tell me 5 random fun things about yourself" I asked him some "this or that" questions. They reveal a lot more than "How many siblings do you have?"
- Choose an interactive activity for the date: Dinner is okay, but can feel like an interview or a meeting. Movies- is sitting in silence staring at a screen then going home empty handed. A first date should put each other at ease & reveal more about you without having to ask questions. Anything where you can enjoy a shared experience and talk while doing things: bowling, putt-putt, ice skating, carnival, zoo, batting cages, etc.
- Have Fun! Even if you meet the person & realize that there's no spark- don't look at it as a failure or waste of time. Realize that the other person took the time out of their life to meet you, so there is something awesome about you. Also use these dud-dates to practice and feel more at ease for the next one. I'm not suggesting to lead anyone on- certainly be honest, but don't be rude either.
It's 2011.....Online Dating is kinda the norm these days. Who really has time to court the old fashioned way anymore? The how you meet isn't necessarily as important- it's just the fact that you meet the person you're supposed to be with.
Anyone else have Online Dating Tips? Also take a look at my friend & co-worker's blog: thesassyfa.blogspot.com. Its so cool to see a side of a person you never knew they had- I love her writing style & she'll prove to have some great stories- the craziest stuff always happens when I work with her.....Crew Planning: Bloggers want some stories!
Honesty. Your photo should be you, NOW. Every thing you put in your profile should be true, NOW. If someone responds and asks a question, answer it truthfully.
ReplyDeleteHumor. "Not How many x does it take to Y?" Say something witty that shows you have a brain that does more than keep your ears from transmitting light.
I've been out of circulation for many years now, but met my wife online back in '96 - before everyone was doing it. the first photo she saw of me was standing next to my bike in head-to-toe lycra (and trust me, I'm no underwear model...); the note with it said, "I have nothing to hide."
I can't imagine that the need for those two things has been reduced over the last decade and a half.