Flying Solo

I haven't blogged about my dating life in awhile.  Well mostly because I really don't have much of a dating life.  For those of you in the Airline Biz- You know how difficult dating can be.  For me though, I really was hung up on things with my pilot.  Its funny. I always said I'd never date one...& then he came along and before you knew it I was flying across the country for a week every month to spend time with him & his parents/huge family.  The past few months have been really tough because him & I still talk. Rule #1 in breakups- cease all communication.

Anyways....I digress. This post isn't really about him. It's about how I am finally in that place where the past isn't my future.  Realizing that I can do whatever I want & refusing to drop anything for a man is quite liberating actually.  Looking at past relationships- that's what I did. My dreams were put on hold & I would do anything for him to make him happy.  Distance does that I suppose. A man isn't supposed to become your whole life- he's supposed to become part of it.  He isn't the goal or the prize. The prize is each other together & you're both along for the journey together.

Now....I am on an internet dating website.  Yes, the goal eventually in life is to find a man & get married & have babies and all that fun stuff.  I am serious about dating, but I am more serious in getting to know people and learn about myself through the dates I go on, the messages I am sent.  Sure I've had some really creepy men initiate conversations, but at the end of the day I chalk it up to flattery.  These men saw my profile & were interested.  And for every ugly duckling (divorced, inablity to form sentences beyond "hey ur hott lets chat sumtime", and unattractive with absolutely nothing)...a total hottie will send me a message and we'll find we have tons in common and keep talking and exchange numbers & meet and go on dates.

If anything its free therapy and a confidence booster (as if I need my ego boosted anymore) to remind me that men DO find me interesting & funny & beautiful and that its not just me who think so.  When I go on these semi-blind dates and they turn out to not meet my standards I don't get down on myself thinking I only attract the losers- I understand that Men are attracted to me & want to be around me.

So...The Flying B is out there going on dates & just having fun with no expectations and commitment yet with the caviat being that there's nothing sexual until exclusivity.  That's always been my rule- the man can see however many women he wants- but I'll be seeing as many men as I want and not getting physical with any one of them.

I'm on vacation for another 12 days....with a trip to Pennsylvania to see the fam (if the non-rev gods help me out) and then to Vegas for a few days with my friend & over to New Jersey for a sorority sister's wedding. Lots of opportunity for this Flying Bachelorette to have some fun!